Sometimes, I feel like a walking zombie. I don't know what else to do anymore. Everything is going downhill, it frustrates me. A lot. I'm not sure if I can think straight anymore.
I'm tired of taking care of other people, but in the end, nobody cares how I feel, or what leads me to feeling this way. Sometimes, I feel like crying my heart out because I don't think there's somebody out there for me. Sometimes, I feel like giving up and walk my way out. But I can't.
My mom is my first up most priority. When she's hurting, I feel the pain too. And I tried my best to be there for her as much as I could, but its eating me alive. I do wonder, though, if I can pull this off on my own. Alone. Not literally alone, but with my mom by my side. I'll do my best to make her happy - to see her being upset all the time makes me feel like a big failure. And to see my relationship going downhill, is making me nauseating.
I don't know who to trust anymore. Or if I can ever trust anyone else at all. One day, everything was completely perfect and few seconds later, nothing is ever right. I'm sick and tired having to deal with this, and having no one to understand what I truly felt inside. I know there's nothing much I can do to ractify the situation but the thoughts of trying lingers around, makes me feel bad more than ever.
Honestly, I can't satisfy everyone.
And I'm not sure if I can trusts men either. What they did normally would be.. walking out on you when they've got what they want. What a bloody selfish bastard.
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